• Gary Porpora



But first, the headlines…

Man Stuffs Neighbor Into Trash Can

Woman 86ed From Wal-Mart Because Her Breasts Frighten Toddler

Teenager Loses Arm to Alligator…“It was my last golf ball.”

Call it bias, if you want, but am I the only one whose reaction to similar headlines is… “Must be in Florida.”

What a weird place, on varying levels—retirement mecca, mullet capital of the world, hanging chads, Miami Vice—and home to three of the worst run franchises in all of sports.

Tonight’s NFL slugfest will find the Dolphins swimming into the Jungle to take on the “Jagwires”… Yes folks, it’s the quarterback matchup of the year as the Jags Gardner Minshew battles Ryan Fitzpatrick, aka Ryan Fitzmagic, or Fitztragic…whichever fits on any given Sunday…

We know Miami was trounced for 217 rushing yards in their first biannual meeting with New England in Week One. Last Sunday, Buffalo’s Josh Allen set records, throwing for 400+ yards and four TDs against one of the lamest pass rushes in the game.

Brian Flores hasn’t been the coach Dolphins fans hoped he’d become after his apprenticeship under Darth Belichick in New England. Ryan Fitzpatrick is too streaky to provide his young team any sense of stability.

Miami is 5-15-1 in its last twenty-one prime timers and Fitzgerald 2-5 in his last seven. (It’s looking more tragic than magic.)

Conversely, Gardener Minshew can get hot against a Fish secondary minus CB Byron Jones. The other CB in Miami, Xavien Howard, has a balky knee—and J’Ville is seventh in yards per rush attempt, a healthy 5.1.

We’re playing the Over because the two youngest teams in the NFL field pedestrian defenses with offenses that can stay in games they shouldn’t be in.

Overall, Jacksonville has the more talented roster; Minshew is the better QB, and Doug Marrone gets a lot from a shallow talent pool—more than Flores ever has.

There are two wildcards—17,000 will attend the game, and this might be the perfect environment, if Fitzpatrick struggles, to see what kind of spark Tua Tagovailoa brings to the Dolphins party.

Jaguars 27 Dolphins 23

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