HANDICAPPING THE NFL
NFC East
Division Record 23-40-1
If the NFC East was a rock group it would have to be Motley Crue.
Not because they’re an ‘80s heavy metal band with a hit called “Girls, Girls, Girls”—not because their drummer is hung like Secretariat, and convinced Pam Anderson to play a porn queen…on a boat…in front of a camera—but because when compared to the elite groups/teams in the world/league, Motley Crue pretty much sucks.
Last year, the Washington Wood Choppers—our nickname for the nameless team in the nation’s capital—went 7-9 and went to the playoffs!!! The Dallas Cowboys—America’s Team—and the New York Football Giants were hot on The Chopper’s tail at 6—10. The Eagles, not the rock band, the football team, were lurking at 4-11.
Phillly and the G-Men have new head coaches who seem to be cut from the same “old school cloth—I just wonder if it’s the University of "I am In Way Over My head."
When they were hired, I had to google both the Giant’s Joe Judge and the Eagles Nick Sirianni. According to most observers, both teams conducted a thorough search.
I was surprised to learn Sirianni hired a very young 23 member coaching staff of guys he has known in his 12-year climb up the NFL ladder. You can view it as the move of a supremely confident coach or one of an insecure coach.
Sirianni’s hiring cemented GM Howie Rosman as the Big Bird in the Eagles nest. Rumor has it Rosman rubbed former HC, Doug Pederson the wrong way or was wrongly rubbed himself. Either way, Pederson was happy to go. Jeff Lurie seemed almost too eager to fire the coach who won a Super Bowl four years ago. There’s that instability that infects NFL teams. Sometimes it takes teams years to recover.
John Mara, whose family owns the Giants recently emphasized GM, Dave Gettlemen was definitely, positively, not on the hot seat. Translated from NFL speak to English, it means Gettlemen’s ass is on fire and only a playoff appearance can extinguish the flame.
Which brings us to America’s Team.
As a Steelers fan, I cannot express in mere words the joy my heart fills with knowing Jerry Jones is still in charge. His Dallas Cowboys—with all the first class facilities, all the Southern hospitality, all the ancient history—hasn’t sniffed a championship in 26 years.
All the hype, all the TV exposure, all the obnoxious fans and big bad Dallas has won three—3—playoff games this century—
…As many as the Jags
…Five less than the Carolina…
…Three less than the Jets and Atlanta…
…Two less than the Cards…
Those five teams have one Super win among them…
My only question concerning Dallas:
What the hell was a born and bred Pittsburgher like Mike McCarthy thinking taking the Cowboys job?
Could it be Ron Rivera is the best coach in this division? GM Martin Mayhew reports to Rivera, which means Wood Choppers owner and Snyder guaranteed Rivera final say on all football operations when the former Panthers HC was hired.
Anyone who thinks this division is an easy call is lying.
In terms of talent, Dallas fields a lot of good football players, but you have to wonder if the hype and exposure makes the team inherently overconfident—especially with Jerrah, hawking over McCarthy’s shoulder.
Big Blue may have the best defense, but they bring back the 31st ranked offensive line—no trade, no picks. I love their secondary with Adoree Jackson’s signing, but Daniel Jones makes more turnovers than a German grandma. With that offensive line, things might not get better.
Philadelphia has to make a whole new system work and there are big holes in the defensive back seven—LB, CB, and S. A great defensive line won’t consistently be able to minimize a mediocre back seven.
That leaves the Wood Choppers as our pick to take the division at 9-8. If the nomadic Ryan Fitzpatrick regresses to his worst self, then America’s Team will win the NFCE.
God forbid…
Best Ownership…John Mara – New York Giants
Best GM…Dave Gettlemen – New York giants
Best Coach…Ron Rivera – Washington Wood Choppers
Best QB…Dak Prescott –Dallas Cowboys
PREDICTIONS
Division Winner – Washington Wood Choppers
Wild Cards – None?
Best Super Bowl Futures Bet…Dallas Cowboys +3000
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