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  • Gary Porpora


The Gairzo is coming off a good year. Our regular season tally beat the guys at and Vinnie Iyer over at The Sporting News, but we spit choked and puked when it came to our Totals calls.

Until last year, our luck in predicting the right side of the Total kept us afloat.

Our performance on our Specials didn’t meet the.500 mark either—but we did hit on two 3-play parlays that made up for our season long struggles.

2019 Overall Tally: 142 – 118 – 7 .546

Cumulative Totals: 53 – 55 – 1 .491

Conf. Championship Playoff Picks: 0 – 2

Playoffs Overall Tally: 5 – 5 – 1

Conf. Championship Totals Picks: 1 – 1

Playoffs Overall Totals: 4 – 7

Weekly Specials 1 – 1 – 1

Cumulative Specials: 37 – 39 – 2 .487


UPSET SPECIAL 10– 8 – 2 O/U OF THE WEEK 8 – 12


The dominant word, I’m betting, for this years NFL slate will be unpredictability. Any handicapper, who thinks he has a determinative insight into an NFL season sans OTAs, no real training camps, and zero pre-season games, is delusional.

Our theory will favor teams in one or more of the following circumstances:

· Solid organizations, perennial contenders, quality coaching…

· Veteran teams

· Teams that have overcome adversity…

NFL squads that have endured systemic changes—new coaches, losing, or gaining star talent—and very young teams will not do well this year.

We will discuss our predictions for the 2020 NFL campaign in our weekend post, but we will apply the above logic to tonight’s season opener with the Texans moseying up to Kansas City to face the world champion Chiefs.


Tonight LSU alum Clyde Edwards-Helaire will run the Shitkickers ragged as the Chiefs unveil their rookie weapon an offense which could be as good as any in the century long history of the NFL. We’ve got Mahomes, Travis Kelce, Mecole Hardman, Sammy Watkins, a stout offensive line and a very underrated defense that dominated in the Super Bowl against the best rushing team in the league.

The Chiefs signed Mahomes into the afterlife with a near half billion dollar contract which will keep him in KC until 2031—until he digresses on the field, or his ego takes over and he becomes the first billion dollar player elsewhere.

GM Brett Veach is having a bigger Lombardi Trophy cabinet built to accommodate a plethora of championships. Veach might think it really doesn’t matter if Wilford Brimley was his head coach--his Arrowheads are that supremely talented--but I bet he’s glad Andy Reid is the big guy pacing his sidelines.

Meanwhile in Texas, it’s always a drama in Bill O’Brien’s Houston locker room. If it’s not Jadaveon Clowney not getting along, or DeAndre Hopkins butting heads with O’Brien, there always seems like another player is ready to challenge the coach. NFL teams don’t get better letting star talent leave the building on their terms.

Give O'Brien his due--he's overcome the adversity he's created--but not this year. The soap opera will only get darker in the Oil City as division rivals Indy and Tennessee leap frogged Houston during last year’s post season.


The Chiefs are raising a banner, they are elite on the field and sideline and they face a depleted Texas team…

It’ll be 24 -0 at halftime; and DeShaun Watson--he's almost as talented as Mahomes--doesn’t have the firepower to overcome that deficit.

Chiefs 38 Texans 14

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