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  • Gary Porpora





Boy, I hate giving the Cowboys anymore coverage, but they are this week’s TNF visitor and I guess—you know what, screw that…

Fact is, the Gairzo loves to handicap Dallas because they are led by an elitist asshole who happens to be a marketing genius.

Give him his due, Jerry Jones could sell air conditioners to Eskimos.

Old Jerrah’s been rebranding the Cowboys as America’s team since he plunked down 140 million into previous Dallas owner, Bum Bright’s bank account.

Even die-hard Steelers fans like me must admit, the Cowboys truly were once America’s team given their Kansas City roots, bigger than life personalities and unmatched 20 years of excellence under legendary tandem of head coach Tom Landry and GM Tex Schram.

From 1966 thru 1985, Landry’s Cowboys:

· Made 18 playoff appearances

· Played in 12 NFC/NFL Championship games

· Went to five super Bowls and two NFL Championships, winning two rings

· Never had a losing season

· Lost more than six games only once

· Lost more than five games only twice

They didn’t cheat, only Noll’s Steelers were as disciplined, and they earned the moniker, America’s team.

After Jimmy Johnson robbed the Vikings blind in the Herschel Walker trade, and Dallas won three rings in four seasons, from ’92 to ’95 --Jerry Jones Cowboys:

· Are 4-9 in the playoffs and haven’t sniffed even an NFC Championship

Here’s where I get to write one of my all-time favorite sentences:

America’s team, my ass…

Meanwhile, in Chicago—looking at the same period in their history—the Bears are 3-5 in playoff competition and lost to Peyton Manning in the ’06 Super Bowl.

They welcome Dallas to Soldier Field with a Super Bowl caliber defense and a uniquely unimpressive offense led by the obviously over valued—at least to Chicago GM, Ryan Pace—Mitchell Trubisky.

Jerry Jones, most of the football punditry, and nearly every respected football “expert” believe the Cowboys are teeming with talent. Offensively they have horses—although the line is starting to lose it’s excellence—Zeke Elliot is the most feared back in football, Dak Prescott is having his best year, and the Cowboys field the best offense in the NFL.

They’ve beat the teams in their own lousy division, the Giants twice, along with Miami and Detroit. Dallas played a decent game in their home loss to the Vikes, couldn’t score more than nine points against the Pats, were dominated by Buffalo, also at home, and lost to division leaders Green Bay and New Orleans—and—wait for it…The Jets.

Dallas has yet to beat a team with a semblance of a .500 record.

As usual, Jerry’s Cowboys, riding a straw horse, gallop through the muck of mediocrity splattering the illusion of superior talent into the wide eyes of their fans and blinding the football public with their larger than life self-image.

By the time we rub the mud from our eyes, its January and the Dallas Cowboys are nowhere to be found.

To be fair, Da Bears only quality win: a Soldier Field victory against the Vikings, doesn’t negate a four game losing streak or an inept offense. Chicago’s remaining victories, and losses, were typical games kept close by their defense.

That’s precisely why we’ll take the Bears with three points; the Bears have a championship worthy defense. Dallas defensive stats were built on the backs of the NFL’s worst offensive teams.

Take the field goal, the Bears to win outright, , and the Over.

Da Bears 24 Cowboys 22

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